News Flash/Relatively Speaking
| News Flash Hunting season is all year long in genealogy.Warning!! There are no lifeguards in the gene pool!All right! Everybody out of the gene pool!”SHHH! Be vewy, vewy quiet…I’m hunting forebears.” Elmer FuddBATTLE CRY — “Take all of the ancestors, leave only the records!”GENEALOGISTS: It’s 2001: Where are YOUR great-grandparents?Some mornings it’s just not worth gnawing through the straps.1998-1999 As we record the passing scene in our genealogy, it’s a good idea to keep things in perspective. Our ancestors would naturally see things differently at different ages of their lives. Here is an eye opener Jack Wilcox sent from his Barbershop Chorus [BURPS] “Bill’s Punch Line” From: Dick Johnson djspebs@mcn.net The students who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1980. They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan era, and did not know he had ever been shot.They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged. Black Monday 1987 is as significant to them as the Great Depression.There has only been one Pope. They can only really remember one past president.They were 11 when the Soviet Union broke apart, and do not remember the Cold War. They have never feared a nuclear war. “The Day After” is a pill to them, not a movie.CCCP is just a bunch of letters.They have only known one Germany.They are too young to remember the Space shuttle blowing up, and Tienamin Square means nothing to them.They do not know who Momar Qadafi is. Their lifetime has always included AIDS.They never had a Polio shot, and likely, do not know what it is.Bottle caps have not only always been screw off, but have always been plastic.They have no idea what a pull top can looks like.Atari pre-dates them, as do vinyl albums. The expression “you sound like a broken record” means nothing to them.They have never owned a record Player.They have likely never played Pac Man, and have never heard of Pong.Star Wars looks very fake and the special effects are pathetic.There have always been Red M&M’s, and Blue ones are not new.What do you mean there used to be beige ones? They may have heard of an 8-track, but chances are they probably have never actually seen or heard one.The Compact Disc was introduced when they were 1 year old.As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 32 cents.They have always had an answering machine.Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black and white TV. They have always had cable.There have always been VCR’s, but they have no idea what Beta is.They cannot fathom not having a remote control.They were born the year that Walkmen were introduced by Sony.Roller-skating has always meant inline for them. The Tonight Show has always been with Jay Leno.They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.Popcorn has always been cooked in a microwave.They have never seen and remember a game that included the St. Louis Football Cardinals, the Baltimore Colts, the Minnesota North Stars, the Kansas City Kings, the New Orleans Jazz, The Minnesota Lakers, The Atlanta Flames, or the Denver Rockies (NHL hockey, that is)They do not consider the Colorado Rockies, the Florida Marlins, The Florida Panthers, The Ottawa Senators, the San Jose Sharks, or the Tampa Bay Lightning “expansion teams” They have never seen Larry Bird play, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is a Football player.They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as WWI, WWII or even the Civil War. They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran.They can’t imagine what hard contact lenses are.They don’t know who Mork was or where he was from. They never heard the terms “Where’s the beef?”, “I’d Walk a mile for Camel”, or “de plane, de plane!”.They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. is.The Cosby Show, The Facts of Life, Silver Spoon, The Love Boat, Miami Vice, WKRP in Cincinnati, and Taxi are shows they have likely never seen.The Titanic was found? I thought we always knew where it was. They cannot remember the St. Louis Cardinals ever winning a World Series, or even being in one, much less the Chicago Cubs!Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are places, not groups.McDonalds never came in Styrofoam containers.Do you feel old now? Remember, the people who don’t know these things will be in college this year.And Jack concludes, “Hard to believe, but they probably don’t know what “church keys” are either.1998-1999 As we record the passing scene in our genealogy, it’s a good idea to keep things in perspective. Our ancestors would naturally see things differently at different ages of their lives. Here is an eye opener Jack Wilcox sent from his Barbershop Chorus [BURPS] “Bill’s Punch Line” From: Dick Johnson djspebs@mcn.net The students who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1980. They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan era, and did not know he had ever been shot.They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged. Black Monday 1987 is as significant to them as the Great Depression.There has only been one Pope. They can only really remember one past president.They were 11 when the Soviet Union broke apart, and do not remember the Cold War. They have never feared a nuclear war. “The Day After” is a pill to them, not a movie.CCCP is just a bunch of letters.They have only known one Germany.They are too young to remember the Space shuttle blowing up, and Tienamin Square means nothing to them.They do not know who Momar Qadafi is. Their lifetime has always included AIDS.They never had a Polio shot, and likely, do not know what it is.Bottle caps have not only always been screw off, but have always been plastic.They have no idea what a pull top can looks like.Atari pre-dates them, as do vinyl albums. The expression “you sound like a broken record” means nothing to them.They have never owned a record Player.They have likely never played Pac Man, and have never heard of Pong.Star Wars looks very fake and the special effects are pathetic.There have always been Red M&M’s, and Blue ones are not new.What do you mean there used to be beige ones? They may have heard of an 8-track, but chances are they probably have never actually seen or heard one.The Compact Disc was introduced when they were 1 year old.As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 32 cents.They have always had an answering machine.Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black and white TV. They have always had cable.There have always been VCR’s, but they have no idea what Beta is.They cannot fathom not having a remote control.They were born the year that Walkmen were introduced by Sony.Roller-skating has always meant inline for them. The Tonight Show has always been with Jay Leno.They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.Popcorn has always been cooked in a microwave.They have never seen and remember a game that included the St. Louis Football Cardinals, the Baltimore Colts, the Minnesota North Stars, the Kansas City Kings, the New Orleans Jazz, The Minnesota Lakers, The Atlanta Flames, or the Denver Rockies (NHL hockey, that is)They do not consider the Colorado Rockies, the Florida Marlins, The Florida Panthers, The Ottawa Senators, the San Jose Sharks, or the Tampa Bay Lightning “expansion teams” They have never seen Larry Bird play, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is a Football player.They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as WWI, WWII or even the Civil War. They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran.They can’t imagine what hard contact lenses are.They don’t know who Mork was or where he was from. They never heard the terms “Where’s the beef?”, “I’d Walk a mile for Camel”, or “de plane, de plane!”.They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. is.The Cosby Show, The Facts of Life, Silver Spoon, The Love Boat, Miami Vice, WKRP in Cincinnati, and Taxi are shows they have likely never seen.The Titanic was found? I thought we always knew where it was. They cannot remember the St. Louis Cardinals ever winning a World Series, or even being in one, much less the Chicago Cubs!Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are places, not groups.McDonalds never came in Styrofoam containers.Do you feel old now? Remember, the people who don’t know these things will be in college this year.And Jack concludes, “Hard to believe, but they probably don’t know what “church keys” are either. |
Ain’t It The Truth
“Grandparents and Grandchildren are natural allies against a common enemy!” Toynbee
Theory of relativity: If you go back far enough, we’re all related.
Advice to beginners: Boldly start in reverse!
Genealogists diet: “Fiche and Ships topped with tantalizing Sources.”
Isn’t genealogy fun? The answer to one problem, leads to two more!
It is hereditary in my family not to have children.
No – yes – maybe – could be – perhaps. Musings of a genealogist.
Life takes it’s toll. Have exact change ready!
Quakers do it quietly.
Quakers do it with Friends.
Quaker pickup line: “Are thee at barn raisings often?”
Shake your family tree and watch the nuts fall!
The black sheep keeps the best info on the family.
The fellow who leans on his family tree may never get out of the woods.
Perhaps the gene pool could use a little chlorine!
There are no answers, only cross-references.
Having children is hereditary. If your parents didn’t have you you probably won’t either!
Life is too short and you’re dead too long.
Others work from sun to sun! But a genealogists work is never done!!
Ancestors!
written by W.H. Zoschak (a Slovak)
What’s in a name?
The talented poet asked.
Look deep listen:
The pulse of our ancestors.
The heartbeat of nations past
Land, Language, Faith.
Look into a name.
What do you see?
Letters only?
Look deeper.
See the people
Who lived that name.
Not letters but flesh and blood.
Flesh of our flesh. Blood of our blood. Faith of our faith.
Ancestors.
You who bore my name,
Were your thoughts passed to me?
Do I dream your dreams?
The sun you saw I see.
The moon plays for us both.
Days are days. Years are years. But centuries separate us.
You who lived centuries ago
With my name.
Did you see me then?
You have not left this earth!
You live in my name. You live in me. I give you earthly immortality.
My eyes see a different land.
My ears hear different sounds.
But we worship in unison.
The God of your youth.
My faith you have given me.
The God who watched over you
Watches over me.
Relatively Speaking
When marriage is outlawed only outlaws will have in-laws.
When you marry, your family tree can become a forest.
To a genealogist, EVERYTHING is relative!
50% of my forefathers were female.
Of course, a miser is hard to live with, but he sure makes a fine ancestor!
Can a first cousin, once removed, return?
Add to your Genealogy the fun, easy way. Have Grand Children!
He ain’t heavy–He’s my brother’s aunt’s sister’s husband.
Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools!
After 30 days unclaimed ancestors will be adopted.
Any family tree produces some lemons, nuts and bad apples.
My problems are all relative
At last a chance to make my skeletons dance!
I think my family tree is a few branches short of full bloom.
“I Am My Own Grandpa”
Many many years ago when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter, who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law, and changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother, for she was my father’s wife.
To complicate the matters worse, although it brought me joy.
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
To the widow’s grown-up daughter who, of course, was my step-mother.
Father’s wife then had a son, who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson, for he was my daughter’s son.
My wife is now my mother’s mother, and it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife, she’s my grandma too.
If my wife is my grandmother, then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it, it simply drives me wild.
For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa!!